The one about parenting and judgement!

This is a bit of a ranty post, but I want to write about it because its been on my mind a lot lately.

None of us can claim to be without judgment when it comes to life in general. I try my best to have an open mind, but I do have my flaws. For example, I cant stand it when I see a child in a car that is not strapped in, or someone talking on their cellphone while they are driving.

When it comes to the topic of parenting there seems to be even more judgement;

Natural birth vs Cesarean.

Breastfeeding vs bottle feeding.

etc etc etc Blah Blah Blah and Blah!!!

Lately, I have been feeling a subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) judgement from people in general (no one in particular) on how I choose to discipline MY child.

Discipline has been a difficult area for us to navigate as a couple. I was smacked twice as a child and that was it. My parents used other methods to keep me in line and quite honestly I listened to them because I respected them and I didn’t want to disappoint them. Hubby on the other hand was smacked, you would have to ask him how he felt that worked for him, but I suppose it did. As a couple we have had many disagreements on how to approach discipline with our son and we have come to a point where what we are doing works for us.

We use smacking as an absolute last resort. J has probably had three smacks in his four years on this earth and for us….it simply does not work to smack him. We use other methods and it works very well for us.

What I don’t get is why people are so judgy about that?

There is an implication that we are going to have a problem child if we don’t use smacking as part of discipline.

There is an implication that our child wont know what the boundaries are…..

The focus of this post is not on our methods of discipline, but on the subtle implication that we are bad parents because we choose not to smack. There are boundaries in our house and we choose our battles. My child has his moments, as all of us do! After all we are human right? I have seen many adults behave like children in my life.

Let me be clear…..I don’t judge you if you choose smacking as part of your parenting, unless it becomes a case of physical abuse. So I’m not sure why some people feel that our choices are any of their dam business. Aren’t we all just trying to raise our kids to be the best that they can be? Aren’t we all just trying our best to navigate this parenting thing and do what works for us?

Parenting is hard, its not easy at all, and it just makes it harder when we feel judged by others!

I would love to know your thoughts!

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3 thoughts on “The one about parenting and judgement!

  1. We use similar things like timeout. Yeah, I know each to his own….but some people can be some dam judgy.

  2. Bring judgmental is just a part of human nature. It makes us feel like we are better than the next person.

    I don’t have an issue with smacking as long as the child understands why they are being smacked and it is not done for all and every thing.

    1. You are right actually. Its a human thing. I just hate feeling that judgement….which is also human.

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